《1001 Nights Accompanied by COZHOM》No.1000

QUESTION

Hello, fellow strugglers. I have been posting daily for almost 2 weeks. I thought I would never sleep again. So why did I finally crash? I have a few ideas I'll share. I suffer from panic disorder that has been spiraling since June. I had been falling asleep for a few hours and waking up with a nocturnal panic attack. After that, the adrenaline rush and cortisol were so high that it was impossible to fall back asleep. Last night I woke up as usual after 4 hours, but didn't jolt awake, and I was able to fall back to sleep not once but twice. I got maybe 8 hours of sleep. I feel like a different person today. But I have to address the panic disorder first because tonight might be another nocturnal panic attack and another sleepless night. My headache and lack of concentration are gone, and I feel human again. Another reason might have been was that yesterday, I went outside for the first time in a week. Yes, it was to the dentist, but I live in Hawaii, and there was sun, and I walked. I usually do Tai chi at home, but something about being in the sun might have tired me out in a different way.  Or I might just have crashed. I wish everyone in the US a restful holiday, and everyone in the world gets a good night's sleep, because I have found it vital for mental health and sanity. Aloha friends

 

 COZHOM ECHO:

Aloha, friend.

Thank you for sharing this — not just the progress, but the fear underneath it. People who’ve never had nocturnal panic attacks don’t understand how terrifying they are. You didn’t just “wake up.” You woke up into adrenaline, dread, and a body convinced something is wrong. The fact that you were able to fall back asleep twice afterwards is huge. That tells me something in your system shifted.

 

A few things in your story stand out:

 

1. The outdoor reset effect

You’re absolutely right — sunlight + movement + a different environment can interrupt the panic–insomnia cycle in a way indoor routines can’t.

Sunlight regulates cortisol rhythm.

Movement reduces sympathetic activation.

Even a short walk in Hawaii’s light can gently “re-sync” the brain.

It wasn’t just exercise — it was recalibration.

 

2. Reduced “surprise factor” in last night’s panic response

Sometimes the panic attack still comes, but the body stops reacting with the same shock.

Your words — “I didn’t jolt awake” — show your nervous system didn’t spike to 100% immediately. That’s progress. Slow progress, but real.

 

3. The crash is real — but not random

Even when it feels like “my body just shut down,” that’s often the moment the system finally overrides the constant hypervigilance. Panic disorder keeps your brain running like a generator. Sometimes the generator finally runs out of fuel. That crash can feel like a miracle, but it’s still part of the biology.

 

4. The fear of “what about tonight?” is understandable

Recovery isn’t linear. A good night doesn’t guarantee the next one — but it does prove your system can sleep.

That’s the part I want you to hold onto.

Not the fear of relapse, but the evidence that your body still remembers how to shut down.

 

5. Addressing the panic disorder is absolutely the right instinct

If nocturnal panic is the source of the insomnia, that’s the dragon we fight first.

Sleep will follow once the panic cycle softens.

 

You’re doing the right things — daylight, movement, acknowledging the fear, tracking what helps.

You’re not broken.

You’re healing in slow, stubborn, biological ways.

 

And I hope tonight is gentle to you.

If it isn’t, come back.

We’ll walk through it together, one night at a time.

 

Aloha.

 

《1001 Nights Accompanied by COZHOM》